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Lorde, Billie Eilish, Run the Jewels, Phoebe Bridgers, Future Islands, St. Vincent, Fleet Foxes, Leon Bridges, CHVRCES, Ty Segall, Halsey and many more. All my new favorites from the past couple years. music.apple.com/us/playlist/quarantine-2020-2021/pl.u-e98lkMmUW0D4PR
I’ve finally finished my doctorate and landed a tenure track job and had a little time to reflect on the past seven years. I process everything best by writing and now that I’ve defended my dissertation, I am able to write again. More than anything, I hope that everyone that happens to read this gains something valuable. The transition from Master’s student to PhD student, from TX to IL, was…
Honestly, most graduate students spend most of their time isolated, studying and writing, and I am no different. Not much has changed for me since quarantine began. However, I’m definitely feeling the effects just like everyone. I live alone with my two wiener dogs. Thank goodness I have their company! The hardest part of being a PhD student that I was least prepared for was the isolation. Often…
1. Recognize that even making a decision to go back to school is hard and give yourself credit.
2. Decide to commit to graduating and dedicating time and effort to this opportunity to better yourself. Higher education isn’t an option for everyone.
3. Celebrate each small success. Send a 4th draft of your 1st dissertation chapter to your chair? Celebrate. Finish a term paper? Celebrate. Submit to a journal? Celebrate. Document it. Love the process.
3. Depression drains you of motivation, energy, will, desire, and causes you to doubt yourself and lose interest in pursuits, keep a journal. Write in it everyday what you did, thoughts, things you need to get done, anything. I keep a bullet journal. Depression makes me you feel as though nothing you do matters because nothing will change and I am a victim of forces beyond my control. A bullet journal is a space of your own to visualize how life is changing for the better and to visualize how much control you do have over your life despite circumstances.
4. Consider speaking with a psychologist if need be. Campuses provide access to services. Don’t be afraid to communicate and ask for help. Some may treat you different. Some might not be able to completely relate, but it will help when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Graduate students often struggle academically, financially, and emotionally.
5. Get one important thing done a day to make progress on your schoolwork. This will help to alleviate depression because you feel productive and worthwhile. Feeling you haven’t wasted the day goes a long way toward elevating mood. Don’t feel guilty for not getting enough done. Guilt and anxiety will paralyze you and you’ll let all the work pile up until it all seems too overwhelming.
6. It’s really important to have a comfy space that is safe and reflects who you are that is all your own. Make your bedroom a haven, but don’t be afraid to leave it to work somewhere that’s more free from distraction. Candles. String lights. Lamps.
7. Remind yourself why you are in school often. It will give you a purpose and a reason for getting up in the morning and getting started.
8. Exercise – even walking a mile a day to begin with – does wonders to help combat feelings of depression for me. You’ll gain more self worth and enjoy an endorphin boost. It’s not a miracle worker but you will feel good about the direction your life is going if you make this positive change. Being able to say you got up and did it will give you confidence. Better yet, it clears your head and problems don’t seem so big anymore. Your mental strength will increase.
8. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else – students, friends, family – don’t do it! Measure yourself against your own efforts and progress.
9. Create. Set aside time each week to do something creative that you love.
10. Remember that there’s no absolute fix and that is alright. It’s a battle everyday. Decide to fight. It’s worth it. You’re worth it.
11. Treat yourself to something nice every week too. Reward yourself. Begin to take joy in little things that you used to love again. For me it was watching a movie or reading a book I didn’t have to read for class and listening to a new album.
12. Commit to getting better. This means monitoring your inner dialogue and making sure you’re speaking kindly to yourself. It’s called self-talk.
13. Cut your school work into manageable chunks and make a schedule. Don’t beat yourself up if your not able to stick to it, but knowing exactly how much work you have to do and how much time you have to do it keeps you from becoming overwhelmed. I am awful at time management. My bullet journal helps. Give yourself study breaks. Make studying more enjoyable with music, scenery, coffee…
14. Lastly, remember if you have a day where you feel you are completely failing, you will wake up the next day feeling differently. This semester will pass. Problems are temporary, but the degree isn’t. No problem is ever as big as it seems. It’s alright to break down and be overwhelmed. Just don’t stay there.
“I have never found anybody who could stand to accept the daily demonstrative love I feel in me, and give back as good as I give.” – Sylvia Plath
iI had faith and enthusiasm in the beginning. Then, I found myself sitting across from guys in holey t-shirts with dirty jeans telling me what menu items are too expensive to order. Or, across from a Trump supporter bitching about how ridiculous…
This year my resolutions update is over a month late. I’m blaming field exams. My dissertation director and I set up a timeline today, so this may be the last time I have to blog for a while. 2015 and 2016 were rough. 2017 brought many positive changes. I was asked to help edit Penn State’s Style journal with Dr. Knapp, my application to help organize NIU’s literature conference, MCLLM, was…
1.Sleep Well Beast – The National: This is the seventh release by these Midwestern Ohioans. Sleep Well Beast is much more rhythmic and melodic than previous albums. Elegant melancholia. Berninger’s vocals are despondent as ever in the punk tradition as is the subject matter, death and disillusionment. An infusion of pop against an electronic landscape. Verses are much more distinct from bridges and choruses in this album reflecting arc and direction. Berninger employs a lower register at the edge of his vocal ability with less control.
2. A Deeper Understanding – The War on Drugs: This is the fourth release for this Philly Indie rock band. Grandaluciel’s worn and wistful vocals combined with floating synthesized backgrounds create a reverie which is far sweeter and less cerebral than their previous offering, Lost in the Dream. The band’s characteristic instrumental interludes never feel indulgent or weigh down the ambient, kaleidoscopic direction of the airy melodies. The lyrics are conventionally limited to basic conceits of long nights, rising dawns and love lost in tracks like “Holding On.”
3. Crack – Up – Fleet Foxes: This is the band’s third album, and the first released after Helplessness Blues without drummer and vocalist, Josh Tillman. Crack – Up is much less whimsical, though it contains the same intricate harmonies and intimate textured landscapes. Complex and ambitious folk composition on a cosmic scale set against an earthy textured landscape and galloping guitars. The writing is authentic and self-aware. Pecknold retreats inward, drawing upon mythological figures such as naiads, female nature spirits and locations remote in time and space in Memphis (ancient Egypt). Memphis of course, could refer to the deep south. References to Cassius could refer to Cassius Clay, or the Roman senator responsible for the assassination of Julius Caesar. These American connections to the ancient past, stop short of commenting on the present political turmoil. Melodies reminiscent of the Beach Boys infuse each track with hypnotic sunniness. Though dense with historical and literary references Pecknold’s consciousness is internal and not global. The title is inspired by a self-destructive essay by the same name Fitzgerald wrote in 1936 and published in Esquire Magazine. The writer reflects upon his self-imposed isolation.
4. Masseduction – St. Vincent. This is the fifth studio album from OK native Annie Clark. Masseduction is deeply personal Pop Art packaged in a shiny veneer. Clark’s slinky vocals paired with manic synth noir is distinctive as ever. This time around however, Masseduction bites back hard. The lyrics are scathingly nihilistic. Clark adopts Pop Punk feminist themes like sexist costumes and commodification and unflinchingly combines them with distorted rhythms and confrontational melodies. The result is self-destructive obliteration that’s enticing and addictive.
5. Saturation III – Brockhampton This rap “boy band,” a big group of Texans (San Marcos) tackles issues of identity in a way that’s distinctly their own. Self-deprecating lyrics find redemption and re-definition in rhymes. What emerges is a distinct voice unapologetically raised in celebration of self-actualization. Each track is a parable filled with learning experiences. Multiple references to One Direction reflect their desire to redefine the genre and challenge prevailing views toward gender/sexuality/race. The group is so coherent, transitioning between and sharing lines easily, it’s impossible to isolate specific members. Abstract is overtly open about sexuality. These guys are fearless, triumphant rule changers.
6. american dream – LCD Soundsystem
7. DAMN. – Kendrick Lamar
8. Slowdive – Slowdive
9. Pure Comedy – Father John Misty
10. I See You – The xx
11. No Shape – Perfume Genius
12. Everything Now- Arcade Fire
13. Hot Thoughts – Spoon
14. Painted Ruins – Grizzly Bear
15. Hang – Foxygen
16. Relaxer – Δ (alt-J)
17. Wonderful Wonderful – The Killers
18. How Did We Get So Dark? – Royal Blood
Best Albums of 2017
1.Sleep Well Beast – The National: This is the seventh release by these Midwestern Ohioans. Sleep Well Beast is much more rhythmic and melodic than previous albums.
Epic on an American Scale: Sherwood Anderson’s Winesburg, Ohio While scholars such as Spencer have remarked upon Sherwood Anderson’s American mythopoeia in Winesburg, Ohio, and others such as Ingram note the narrative structure of the short story cycle’s indebtedness to the Homeric and Virgilian epics, none have yet connected the patriotism (also a result of civil war), nationalism,…
1. A 19th Century Classic – published between 1800 and 1899. Middlemarch, George Eliot (1872) 2. A 20th Century Classic – published between 1900 and 1967. As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner (1930) 3. A classic by a woman author. To the Lighthouse, Virginia Woolf 4. A classic in translation, or in its original language or the original language. Madame Bovary, Gustave Flaubert 5. A classic…
The road back is long and ugly. Nothing transcendent when you finally get there. Just gratitude. Still dealing with the repercussions (financial, emotional …) of the past two years, which have been the most difficult and horrible of my 32.
Pills and ashes Dark sunglasses I can’t recall it lightly I can’t recall it at all Two year hangover From which you never recover Get the better of your blunder A life rent asunder Recondite truth Issues from the Wisdom Tooth Cut on despondency Rooted in expectation Monistic denial, Idealistic trial Agonistic endeavor, Beatific travail Nadiral hell, church bells Underneath the dermis Between…
Pills and ashes Dark sunglasses I can’t recall it lightly I can’t recall it at all Two year hangover From which you never recover Get the better of your blunder A life rent asunder Recondite truth Issues from the Wisdom Tooth Cut on despondency Rooted in expectation Monistic denial, Idealistic trial Agonistic endeavor, Beatific travail Nadiral hell, church bells Underneath the dermis Between…
George Eliot and John Stuart Mill share a grand, progressive, sweeping, idealistic belief in the empowering individualism which transcends social, natural, and cultural impediments. Both likewise believe in the pursuit of individualism and the desirable possibility of a fulfilling life. However, Eliot is acutely aware and far more concerned pragmatically, and tragically with the consequences of…
